the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
