ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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