this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
