i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize