Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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