Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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