matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
