Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
