no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
