Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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