Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i believe in u and ur pee
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
