Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
