Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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