I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
