i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
