I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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