I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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