This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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