She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
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We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
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She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize