I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
