i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
