I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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