come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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