Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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