there's paper in my vomit.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
