I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
