He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize