why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
