Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
