Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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