This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
