This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
