Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
