so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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