HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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