im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
