puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's never too late to be topless.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
