Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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