your room smells of hookers.
And success
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
