need another drink. this is the easiest way
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
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Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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