if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
