So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
