no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
