You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
