yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
