i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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