I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
