dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
