my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
