Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
