Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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