How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
