I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
how drunk are you?
Several
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
