Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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