this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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