I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
