He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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