he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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