I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
