Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
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he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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