Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
