i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
