; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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