oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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