I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
