I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He passed out mid-signature
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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