did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
