I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
