So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
