A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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