I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
