u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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