I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
